The Two Words You Should Never Say

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By Katie & Gay Hendricks

Have you ever caught yourself saying statements like these to your partner:

You never listen to me.

I’m always doing everything around here.

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Why do you always have to pick a fight?

You never touch me unless you want to get me in bed.

You’ll notice that they have these two words in common: “never” and “always.”

These two words are detrimental to your relationship, and they don’t get you the change you want. In fact, they are completely counterproductive to what you’re trying to accomplish.

Victim Words = Villain Response = Never-Ending Argument

How do you feel when you hear the words “you always” and “you never” from your mate?

We don’t have to take a guess, because we’ve experienced the negative effects of these words early on in our own marriage.

Chances are, you feel cornered, blamed, and hopeless. Or, you might feel negated. The conversation either shuts down, or escalates and goes nowhere.

That’s because the second you utter the words “you always” and “you never,” you are blaming your partner as a villain. And you’re the victim.

The victim is always wronged, and the villain is perpetuating the problem.

You get stuck in an endless loop of blame and criticism, and the problem never gets resolved.

We Need To Learn A New Way Of Loving If We Want Our Love To Last

Sadly, most of us have only learned blame and criticism as a way of getting our needs met.

It’s what we witness in our childhoods. It’s often all we know.

And because it’s all we know, we don’t even realize how destructive it is. We keep perpetuating the same problems because we use the same approaches that just don’t work.

Not only do they not work. They are the enemies of love and connection.

They create a dangerous cycle of more blame and criticism that will repeat over and over again.

To avoid this cycle, you need a new roadmap to love: a proven system of tools that helps you prevent fighting, loneliness and missed opportunities for connection.

Our free expert love advice newsletter will give you those tools.

In it, we’ll teach you all we’ve learned in over four decades counseling singles and couples on how to create genuine, lasting love.

We’ve helped thousands of people create more intimacy, connection and fulfillment in their relationships, and we can help you too. So if you want to know what makes love last forever, subscribe now.

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  • The biggest reasons relationships fail (including physical intimacy and money problems), and how to prevent them from ruining yours
  • How to be totally and utterly appreciated for all that you do and all that you are
  • The real reason you’re still single – and the quickest way to attract true love
  • What to do if you or your partner is attracted to someone else
  • The real root of commitment fears, and how to know if it’s happening to you or your man
  • Why you’ve been attracting bad relationships – and how to finally break the cycle, even if it’s been happening for years
  • How to stop feeling like a victim once and for all… and take back control of your relationship and your life

Transform Your Loneliness, Pain and Heartbreak into Genuine Love

  • One word that stops a fight in its tracks
  • How we accidentally push love away, even when we are trying to get closer
  • Why your relationships keep failing… and problems keep repeating
  • Two signs that you are secretly afraid of love

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