What you’re about to read could change the way you approach all of your relationships – including the one with yourself – forever.
I say this with complete confidence because after I first discovered this and began to apply it in my own life as well as in my work with individuals and couples, I found it to be the single most powerful technique for restoring intimacy and the flow of good feelings in any relationship.
The most remarkable thing about this technique was that it doesn’t require years of psychoanalysis, grueling behavior modification, or hours of talk therapy.
On the contrary, this powerful technique can melt away years – even decades – of bad feelings and tension… and it only takes about ten seconds or less.
Bitterness is transformed into geniality. Resentment into understanding. And longing into contentment.
I’ve seen couples that were on the brink of breaking up start to understand each other and feel close again – for the first time in months, or even years.
And it all happens in less time than it takes to take two deep breaths.
You may wonder how it’s possible to make such sweeping changes in such a short period of time. If it is so easy and quick, why are relationship problems still so persistent and pervasive?
Why do we still experience distance with our loved ones, engage in endless bickering, and suffer loss of passion and affection?
The answer lies in the way we’ve been approaching the solution all along.
Problems in relationships persist because we’ve been doing all the wrong things to get close to our loved ones and feel good about ourselves. And these wrong approaches have been keeping us stuck in longing and conflict for most of our lives.
From the time we first learn to walk and talk, we are encouraged to avoid conflict and get along with others by doing exactly the very thing that creates big problems in our relationships.
“Say something nice or say nothing at all,” our parents, teachers and mentors advised.
As we got older, society taught us to “go with the flow” when in a situation we don’t like or agree with, because it was better than being a troublemaker or instigator.
We got the message that we ought to “get over it” when we’re feeling down or angry because it’s not good to make others uncomfortable.
We believe that it’s the things we say or admit that get us in trouble.
We, therefore, bite our tongue when our partner says something that hurts.
We pretend that everything is OK, because we don’t want to ruin the mood. We keep secrets to ourselves to avoid hurting others’ feelings.
We hope that whatever negative feelings we’re experiencing will just go away, eventually.
We tell ourselves that whatever issues are upsetting us are probably “no big deal” and really, if we’re smart, we would just get over it.
We distract ourselves from irritation, sadness and anxiety with shopping, sex and food. We literally stuff our feelings deep down into our body until we gradually feel nothing at all. We turn on the TV, get absorbed in Facebook, and open a pint of ice cream. We think having sex will solve whatever relationship distance we’ve been feeling lately.
All the while, our health and relationships suffer from all the pretense because we never get to the root of the problem. We just mask the symptoms by digging in and doing more of what doesn’t work: pretense, denial and avoidance.
And this is the result: We feel a sense of longing to feel close to our loved ones, but we don’t know how to get there. We experience that something is “off” about our relationship, but we can’t name what that is. We avoid telling the truth about what’s really bothering us for fear of upsetting the other person. We argue about the same problems, think we have them solved, but they keep recurring.
Eventually we lose interest, fall out of love or harbor deep-seated resentment.
Even when we think we have managed to avoid negativity and conflict, our bodies don’t buy it. We start having headaches, back aches, we get sick more often and we fall into a depression for what seems like no good reason. The repressed emotions are still there, creating even more problems for us.
Our problems in relationships are largely caused by postponing saying things that need to be said, or not allowing ourselves to feel the emotions we need to feel.
There’s only one way to maintain intimacy and closeness in a relationship, and it all starts with a crucial ten-second window of time.
The world has sped up a lot in recent decades. We may feel that we don’t have a minute to think about things, so when things happen, we have to react instantly.
The first Ten-Second window following any pivotal interaction with another person is critical. Fear is felt in 1/10th of a second, but can wreak havoc the rest of the day, based on how we respond.
Our relationships can either flourish or wither, depending on what we say or how we choose to show up in those crucial moments.
When someone we care about shares a truth with us, the words we choose to respond with can either shut down intimacy, or open up deeper connection.
If we choose the wrong words, based on fear and pretense, we may set ourselves up for years of misunderstanding and bad feelings.
If we choose the right words, based on the authentic way we’re feeling, we create a space where we can breathe easy and feel connected, even if those words are difficult for us to say.
You may even say that your happiness in life depends on it.
Early in my career as a psychotherapist, I made a discovery. I noticed that there came a moment – a small window of opportunity – when certain things occurred in client interactions that resulted in an immediate shift toward harmony and resolution of long-standing tensions.
Intrigued by this serendipitous discovery, I decided to do more research. I studied videotapes of my sessions, made observations in my own life and even carried out further observations in the corporate world where I would often do consultations. What I saw applied across boundaries of gender, sexual orientation, race and culture.
Through this process, I confirmed the remarkable discovery that shifted my whole perspective:
The moments when relationships change for the better occur in ten-second windows when specific moves are made. The moves are based on specific laws of relationship that became obvious as the videotapes revealed their secrets.
I began to teach this technique and these specific moves to individuals, couples and even in corporate settings.
Time and time again, without fail, I saw great transformations take place. Relationships regained connection, colleagues began working together again and experienced a surge of creativity, families and individuals let go of bad feelings and opened up to authenticity.
That’s when I knew that I needed to share what I learned and help as many people as possible reach their full potential in life and love.
My experiment was so successful that I collected everything I learned and wrote a book entitled, The 10-Second Miracle.
In it, I reveal in detail the secret behind what I call the “5 Miracle Moves” – inner shifts and ways of communicating that have the power to radically change people’s lives and relationships.
Within ten seconds of each of these specific “moves,” positive shifts reliably happen. Moods brighten, tensions melt, impasses dissolve, faces soften and shoulders drop. Couples make friendly eye contact and begin to touch each other again. Old resentments and misunderstandings dissolve and heart healing begins.
And these dramatic, positive results occur in ten seconds or less!
These Miracle Moves are not difficult to learn or master. Once you know what they are, you can begin using them immediately (by yourself or with a loved one) to feel better.
More than 30 years after I first discovered these ten-second Miracles, and after working with many thousands of people, I have a deep and unshakable confidence in the power of the techniques to reliably produce relationship breakthroughs.
You’ll relish the sweet freedom of being authentically yourself. You’ll appreciate having an easy, quick tool to break through silent treatments, tension and worry and experience flow again.
No longer will you need to feel stifled and at the breaking point with anyone in your life.
With The 10-Second Miracle, you’ll have the single most important technique to maintain closeness and honesty with your loved one, and with yourself.
Plus – When you purchase our The 10-Second Miracle you’ll receive our expert love advice newsletter. Each message is full of our most important skills, practices & discoveries to provide you with ongoing support and inspiration.
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You have the power to completely transform any relationship, including the one you have with yourself, all by learning the 5 Miracle Moves that each take ten seconds or less. With the power of these 5 Miracle Moves, you’ll release tension, stop fights, feel more love and affection, be understood, and free your mental energy to experience more creativity in all areas of life.
I’m so confident that The 10-Second Miracle will help you that I’m making sure you have absolutely no reason not to try this life-changing product. That’s why I’m offering it to you completely RISK-FREE. Download the program now, read or listen and watch the video lessons over the next week, and if you aren’t completely satisfied, you can return them all for a full refund… no questions asked.
We shape the course of our lives by moments in which we open up to intimacy or shrink away from it. We create our destiny by how we deal with the grip of longing. When you feel an easy flow of good feeling returning to your body or a relationship – it is a wonderful moment. When you break free of the grip of longing and ease into the flow of love, it is the best feeling in the world.
I want you to know how to produce this miracle in your life. That’s why I wrote The 10-Second Miracle.
I know you’ll find the techniques to be transformative in all your relationships, including your own personal well-being. And they’re not complicated or difficult to master. They are effortless, in fact, they are so natural that it requires effort to resist doing them.
If you can learn that you have the power to re-create love in your life reliably, you hold the key to your own happiness and to the future of human evolution.
In this spirit, I thank you for your commitment to creating a world of better relationships and for having the courage to explore, question and invent yourself anew. I wish you every blessing on your continuing journey of miracles.